When I arrived, Jake seemed kind of sad--not as happy as he was yesterday. This concerned me and I asked him how his night went. He said that it went well and that he slept pretty good. Okay. . . if he had a good night, what could be bothering him? I asked how his pain was--about a 3 (they score the pain from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worse). So, it wasn't lack of sleep or pain--still couldn't figure out what was bothering him. I didn't push it--wanted to see if he would talk about it later--which turned out to be much later. Mondays are a pretty busy day at the hospital. I couldn't believe how many people came in today for one reason or another--not counting his nurses. It was unbelievable!! :( No wonder people can't rest at a hospital--everyone keeps coming in and waking the patient up! I know that everyone has to do their rounds, but if someone is sleeping, why do they have to wake them up to talk to them? Sorry--it was a very long day for both Jake and I. :(
That was the cloudy part of the day. The sunny part came soon after. The wife and mother of one of the injured soldiers Jake was serving with at the time of the incident came to see him. Boy did his face light up with a smile when he saw her. :) She gave him a hug and an update on how her husband was doing. Jake was very concerned when she told him that her husband had a rough day on Saturday. Jake has been worried about all the soldiers that were injured in the incident and asks about them all the time. All he wants to do is to see them again.
His occupational therapist also came to see him, helped him into his wheelchair and took a stroll down to the therapy room to work on lifting to continue to build up his upper body strength. Jake liked that, but the pain in his left leg started to spike and we decided to take him back to his room. When we arrived there, his physical therapist greeted him and they exchanged some teasing between themselves. :) He wanted to do some exercises with Jake but as they started to talk about it, Jake received some special visitors (two women) from the Vermont Army National Guard.
The VANG visitors were a bright ray of sunshine for Jake, and for me. They visited with Jake, gave him a Calvin and Hobbes book (to make him laugh when he was down), gave him a special coin, and gave him and I hugs. It was a nice break in his day and it was nice to receive visitors from home. After their visit, we went downstairs to Subway (yes, this hospital has a Subway, Dunkin Donuts, and a Burger King in it), got some lunch, and came back up on the ward and went outside in the courtyard (which has a nice fountain) and ate lunch. It was nice to just sit and talk in a very peaceful, relaxing spot. Jake loves this courtyard--he says that it is his. :)
He decided that it was time to get back into bed and take a nap--he was pretty tired. When we got him into bed, his physical therapist came back to do the exercises with him. The therapist didn't want to do too much because Jake's levels (his hemoglobin and something else dealing with his blood) were still pretty low and he didn't want Jake to exert himself too much. Jake has lost quite a bit of blood with all these surgeries, which make his levels low. So, they are watching it closely. He was finally able to close his eyes after that visit and take a nap. Thank goodness! I told him that I would run down to the PX store to get him some things he wanted and would be back quickly.
This is where the sun stopped shining outside and it started to get cloudy and dark. When I arrived back to his room, I was greeted with him sitting up in bed with a look of terror on his face and his eyes full of tears. I went to him as fast as I could and asked him what was wrong. All he could say to me is, "I couldn't wake up, Ma. I couldn't wake up." Over and over and over again. He was so distressed and just sobbing. I just held him close to me. He said that he started to dream again. All he could see over and over again was the blast, the truck being tossed, the armor of the vehicle being blown off, and his buddies being thrown from the vehicle. He said that he tried to wake up but couldn't. And then he repeated the exact same words again and again. My heart just broke entirely right then. I wish so badly that I could take away all the pain--physical and mental that he is experiencing right now. He asked his nurse if there was something that they could give him to help him sleep without any dreams. He said that he doesn't want to dream anymore. They did and within a few minutes he was out and slept for almost 3 hours. As he slept, I looked outside his window and saw that it started to rain. Rain outside--rain (tears) inside.
The sun started to poke through the clouds as he woke up. He woke well rested and not as upset. He even asked for something to eat and some more Gatorade. :) As they were doing the nursing shift, a certain cute nurse walked into his room and his face lit up with a HUGE smile! :) I teased him about it and said to him what a great way to end your day--seeing a really cute nurse. He smiled and agreed with me. :)
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day for him. No matter what the weather is doing outside, we are going to make it sunny and bright, in every way, for Jake inside.
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